I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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