I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i out mim tonsoeep
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