So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
