I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
