Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
