rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You are the jesus of drinking
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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