weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
