I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
