can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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