And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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