Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
vagina is talking i cant
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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