Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize