she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
