Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
