I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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