I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
