so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
