She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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