And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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