I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
