By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You are the jesus of drinking
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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