My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
