he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
You left your phone here
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