yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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