And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
