I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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