Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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