Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
