So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
