Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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