Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
