u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
