Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
why is half of my head shaved?
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