ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
