Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
