Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
