You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
