i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
