If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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