Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
