I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
