lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
