i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
