I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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