Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
