We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
