but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
