i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
