i was born a porn star she said
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Randomize
