i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
