Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize